Posts Tagged ‘pretentious’

R.E.M. Murmur remastered

April 12, 2010


It’s criminal that Stipe has gotten this far, the face painted cue ball of low volume college rock has been crooning his waffling sixth form poetry over watery guitar for over 20 years. Now his pockets are once again stuffed with tofu money from this utterly unneccessary series of re-releases designed to once again drown us in the man’s torrid misery. The only interest comes in the shoddy live recordings of disk 2, where future ‘classics’ are thrown out without as much as a murmur from the crowd, and as the listener you are forced to ask the question ‘why was anyone ever bothered?’

Synecdoche New York

April 12, 2010

A debilitating, headache inducing sleeping pill

Charlie Kaufman can work miracles for some people. With Being John Malkovich he created a vehicle which Cameron Diaz rode to somewhere just about approaching an actress, and allowed a slovenly, sweaty Nicholas Cage to blunder his way through not one but two forgettable parts in the disappointing Spike Jonze flick Adaptation. A film in which he reveals himself to be an egotistical, self doubting car wreck of a human being, the only type of person who could be so cruel as to bring the pitifully self indulgent mess of Synecdoche to the screen. The ‘film’ constantly begs the question why? Just what the fuck is actually happening? Its suddenly 7 years in the future? Now he’s married? Now he has pustules. Now its been 17 years, but everyone looks the same? Now nothing is going on.

Nothing.

For 2 hours I sat through this neurotic cry for euthanasia, and for that I will forever hate myself. 2 whole hours of this interminable, risible disaster. And after that I drank 2 bottles of wine and got thrown out of a nightclub because that’s what I had to do. It was the only way to deal with what I had done. The shame I had brought upon myself for propagating this man’s dismal career.

Fuck Buttons – Street Horrrsing

September 16, 2009

Straight Horrrseshit. Pretentious and genuinely boring, the pathetically named Fuck Buttons have succeeded in making noise music entirely pedestrian, yet without being any more listenable for it. Pitiful dross.